Not Keeping Up Very Well

ingI haven't utilized this blog like I thought I would. Here is an update:

I stuck pretty strict with the IC diet and being gluten-free for 8 weeks. Over Thanksgiving I tried bites of gluten products here and there and didn't have any problems. So, I had added gluten back into my diet although before all of this I wasn't a big carb junky so I don't eat a lot of gluten products.

The diet hasn't seemed to do much for me as far as feeling better. I do think it prevents flares. I went and saw a bio-feedback practitioner in Denver over Thanksgiving. She treated me 3 times. The treatments detoxed me and that was hard to handle with as exhausted as I am. Before Christmas I was praying for God to give me direction. I just simply asked Him. The next day I felt like He began to direct me when I received an email from my bioscanner who said he had reviewed my prior scans and concluded that there must be an energy blockage in my body. And the day after that I believe God clearly told me to see the acupunturist in my church. It was like a baseball bat hitting me smack in the middle of my forehead with clear direction.

I have never considered acupuncture. First of all, I HATE needles. Secondly, I wasn't sure that spiritually it was a safe option. After He guided me in this I realized that the doctor who practices this at my church was someone I could trust. I have gotten to know who he and his wife are over the years and they are solid in their faith. I called them that day and they scheduled me an appointment for the next day. I also asked the bioscanner what he thought and he was greatly in support of this decision.

So, I went to my first appointment and found out the following:

I was functioning at a 19 on an energy scale of 100.
I had 17 of 25 areas of impedment in my spinal nerves that allow energy to flow normally.
I have severe allergies.

I began treatments that day and have a slow process of many treatments ahead of me. I hate the needles...there is nothing about it that I like. But the good news is that I began to experience slight improvement for the first time. My kidney stopped hurting. I had better nights (although I am using sleep aid quite heavily to get the rest I need until I am in better shape). And I made it quite successfully on a trip with my hubby for over a week.

I am so thankful for every tiny mark of improvement. I just began working as the Director of Children's Ministry at my church half-time and I desperately would like energy to perform for this job. God will provide either way because He is the one that called me to this, however feeling well physically would be a great blessing.

So, that is my update.

To wrap up, I think in this process I have been reconfirmed that there is an underlying reason that I have the symptoms of IC. I don't think I will have it after the Lord decides it is time to heal my root issues.

He has reasons for allowing this, and I know for sure that one of them is that I have to rely on Him and cannot rely on myself in starting on the church staff. Also, I know that He is keeping me humble through this. I will choose to be thankful even when things are tough. I cling to these verses these days

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5

And this song is the song of my heart:

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

I will praise Your name no matter what, Lord.  You are my Rock and my Refuge.  Amen

Cravings Really Do Go Away

I was just reading previous posts and remembering how hard it was in the beginning. I realize now that I am "in the clear" with cravings for the most part. Don't get me wrong, it was brutal on Halloween to not eat candy (and I've been rationing it out every day to my son for the past 2 weeks since then). It was awful to feed my son a McDonald's Happy Meal when I was starving and had nothing to eat in town one day. It was not fun to go to my mom's group last week and not eat with my friends. I baked a pumpkin cheesecake today for a bake sale...oh to have been able to make another and actually take a bite!

But my physical body seems to be past the need. It is psychological from here on out I guess. When I am tired or have a headache I do desire a cup of coffee or a piece of chocolate but it, again, is in my mind.

I suppose I am quite grateful for being past the really difficult physical craving, detox part of all of this. Now if I could just not be so sick of the few foods I get to eat.

Flare Up

I started having a flare up 3 days ago. 2 nights were partially rough but yesterday afternoon things really sparked up and last night was horrible. I don't think I slept 2 hours straight without having to get up and for many hours I was up every 15 minutes. I can pinpoint one thing I ate yesterday that might have triggered this but even today I am quite uncomfortable.

The two hardest parts of living with IC for me are:
1. The diet.
2. The flare ups causing the lack of sleep.

I have been desperately crying out to the Lord this week. I trust His will is to heal, but He doesn't say when or how. I see my bioscanner in two days and I am pleading and petitioning that God will use this to reveal causes and give me relief on the symptoms.

4 Weeks Today

I haven't utilized this blog as an outlet like I thought I would. Time doesn't feel like it's flying by but today marks 4 weeks since the "diagnosis" and starting the IC diet. It has been a rough 4 weeks.

Two weeks ago I ended up in the urgent care clinic. I had a CT scan and learned that I have kidney stones. I also had an increased temp that day and my pH went up. That is a sign of kidney infection. My urinalysis came back clear, as well as blood tests. After a long "debate" with a not-so-compassionate and all-too-arrogant doctor we headed to the ND's office with an antibiotic prescript in hand. I hate antibiotics but at this point I knew that I needed to get this infection under control. The ND added some natural stuff to the mix and away we went. The worst part of all of it was the pain. I didn't take anything for it in fear of causing an IC flare up.

My mom came that weekend and stayed for a few days. I had a couple good days while she was here and then I had a flare up. I learned that I really need to stay away from sugar. Since we're suspecting kidney infection, which leads to pH issues, which leads to blood sugar issues, sugar intake isn't a good idea. It leaves me urinating constantly. So much for having some vanilla frosty.

So, a couple bad days, followed by a couple okay days, and then we had another whammy. Flu. And I think it is H1N1 since the symptoms are a dead ringer. I have to say it hasn't been as bad as it could be, but I am on day 5 of not feeling great and it is day 5 of fever for my son.

At this point I am really feeling like I am dangling on the end of my rope. The antibiotics have messed up my gut, I am absolutely exhausted, I am so disgusted with my limited food options, and I am fighting depression daily. I know that there is chemical/kidney connection to depression so at least I know its "not my fault" but it is there all the same and I am struggling.

I have been trying to spend quality time with God but I feel really alone right now.

This weekend I will get to see my bioscanner and I cannot tell you how much I hope he can pinpoint the cause of the infection. After the antibiotics we are quite certain my infection is not bacterial. Please, Lord, please, if it brings You glory, heal me.

This Is Hard

I may be past the detox but I am still struggling with the deprivation. I made lots of goodies for others this past week and it was torturous. I do have a few treats for myself but I am bored and displeased with gluten free carob cookies and coconut macaroons. I did have some vanilla ice cream this week but I have to watch how much dairy I consume.

Although this is hard I have been diligent. I am sure there are good things going on in my body and in building my character that I just don't know about at this point. I am thankful to be through last week's kidney pain.

I did try two gluten-free bread products this week. They were bread and pizza crust. Both were from the same company, Kinninnick, and made with rice and tapioca. I was thrilled about the taste to say the least. I will hopefully find something that is more palatable soon.

I did realize that I could eat mozzarella though. That is exciting. It spruced up my scrambled eggs this morning a bit and that was a nice addition because I am bored with those too. I have tried to mix things up a bit but I am just so limited.

My ND told me we'd have to watch for me to lose more weight and having to eat like this I have no clue how I won't lose more weight! I guess if I am losing it because I am eating so well it is different than if I am losing it because my body is sick and stressed.

Although this is hard, I am thankful for God who sustains me. He has been faithful to encourage me and love me and I am hopeful. He has good plans for me...and if testing and training is what I need for those plans to come to fruition, then I am willing. Lord, forgive me for my downfalls in attitude.

Detox

I was not prepared for detox. I was not warned about detox. I gently shared with my ND yesterday that she ought to warn a person about what they'll go through when detoxing.

What was detox? When you suddenly remove several elements from your diet (or even one) your body goes through a "detox" period. Coming off of caffeine was the worst part. Severe headaches, extreme fatigue, crabbiness for 3-4 days. Coming off of all of the other foods at the same time didn't make this past week easy. I was weak, feeling funny, fatigued, depressed, etc. The gal at the health food store told me it would take a week. I made it! Whew! And now to get IC friendly dairy back...I am much happier starting this week off. I am so glad last week is now behind me.

Another blessing I received yesterday besides dairy was the support of my church family. The elders are praying for me and checking in with me and I am so thankful. One of them has even chosen to take my position teaching children's church for a couple of months to give me some rest. Thank you wonderful church family! I love you!

Got Dairy!!!

When I met with my ND yesterday she tested me for milk again and said I could have dairy back! She shared a piece of raw cheese with me...it was heavenly. I had a few tastes of vanilla ice cream at DQ as well.

I am thankful. This makes thing so much easier. I can have some treats now that will help me out...

- steamers
- butter in gluten-free baked goods
- normal mashed potatoes (as long as there isn't sour cream in them)
- milk gravy
- cheeses that aren't restricted on the IC diet
- ice cream (vanilla)
- yogurt

The ND did say that maybe we tried pulling me off of too much too soon. She was proud of me for being so strong willed about getting through my week of detox. I didn't cheat once. Not once.

Maybe getting dairy back was God's sweet reward for being so diligent all week. : )