Cravings Really Do Go Away

I was just reading previous posts and remembering how hard it was in the beginning. I realize now that I am "in the clear" with cravings for the most part. Don't get me wrong, it was brutal on Halloween to not eat candy (and I've been rationing it out every day to my son for the past 2 weeks since then). It was awful to feed my son a McDonald's Happy Meal when I was starving and had nothing to eat in town one day. It was not fun to go to my mom's group last week and not eat with my friends. I baked a pumpkin cheesecake today for a bake sale...oh to have been able to make another and actually take a bite!

But my physical body seems to be past the need. It is psychological from here on out I guess. When I am tired or have a headache I do desire a cup of coffee or a piece of chocolate but it, again, is in my mind.

I suppose I am quite grateful for being past the really difficult physical craving, detox part of all of this. Now if I could just not be so sick of the few foods I get to eat.

Flare Up

I started having a flare up 3 days ago. 2 nights were partially rough but yesterday afternoon things really sparked up and last night was horrible. I don't think I slept 2 hours straight without having to get up and for many hours I was up every 15 minutes. I can pinpoint one thing I ate yesterday that might have triggered this but even today I am quite uncomfortable.

The two hardest parts of living with IC for me are:
1. The diet.
2. The flare ups causing the lack of sleep.

I have been desperately crying out to the Lord this week. I trust His will is to heal, but He doesn't say when or how. I see my bioscanner in two days and I am pleading and petitioning that God will use this to reveal causes and give me relief on the symptoms.

4 Weeks Today

I haven't utilized this blog as an outlet like I thought I would. Time doesn't feel like it's flying by but today marks 4 weeks since the "diagnosis" and starting the IC diet. It has been a rough 4 weeks.

Two weeks ago I ended up in the urgent care clinic. I had a CT scan and learned that I have kidney stones. I also had an increased temp that day and my pH went up. That is a sign of kidney infection. My urinalysis came back clear, as well as blood tests. After a long "debate" with a not-so-compassionate and all-too-arrogant doctor we headed to the ND's office with an antibiotic prescript in hand. I hate antibiotics but at this point I knew that I needed to get this infection under control. The ND added some natural stuff to the mix and away we went. The worst part of all of it was the pain. I didn't take anything for it in fear of causing an IC flare up.

My mom came that weekend and stayed for a few days. I had a couple good days while she was here and then I had a flare up. I learned that I really need to stay away from sugar. Since we're suspecting kidney infection, which leads to pH issues, which leads to blood sugar issues, sugar intake isn't a good idea. It leaves me urinating constantly. So much for having some vanilla frosty.

So, a couple bad days, followed by a couple okay days, and then we had another whammy. Flu. And I think it is H1N1 since the symptoms are a dead ringer. I have to say it hasn't been as bad as it could be, but I am on day 5 of not feeling great and it is day 5 of fever for my son.

At this point I am really feeling like I am dangling on the end of my rope. The antibiotics have messed up my gut, I am absolutely exhausted, I am so disgusted with my limited food options, and I am fighting depression daily. I know that there is chemical/kidney connection to depression so at least I know its "not my fault" but it is there all the same and I am struggling.

I have been trying to spend quality time with God but I feel really alone right now.

This weekend I will get to see my bioscanner and I cannot tell you how much I hope he can pinpoint the cause of the infection. After the antibiotics we are quite certain my infection is not bacterial. Please, Lord, please, if it brings You glory, heal me.